


Bright White Jackets

by erins_culinary_service



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Explicit Language, F/M, Memory Loss, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:27:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22768795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erins_culinary_service/pseuds/erins_culinary_service
Summary: Dean always wanted to find her again, but not like this.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	Bright White Jackets

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Dean x Reader  
Characters: Reader, Dean, Sam, unnamed witch, unnamed demon, Jack, Mary, Charlie   
Squares Filed: Torture - @spndeanbingo Free Space - @spnsongchallengebingo  
Warnings: Tortue, memory loss,   
Word Count: ~3,761 (Including Lyrics)  
A/N: This is Part 2 to my previous fic Eastside. I've thought about where I wanted this to go and this is where inspiration took me. They're will be at least one more part to this.   
I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE REPOSTED OR POSTED ON UNOFFICIAL FANFIC SITES. I HAVE ONLY GIVEN PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE POSTED ON AO3 AND TUMBLR.

Silent Lake Psychiatric Institution. Yeah, that's not a creepy name at all. Maybe some people were actively seeking help, but a disturbing number of missing hunters could be traced back here. If a hunter checked out, weren't the same, a week later they were dead. Some of the best hunters were being called in to find out what was going on, but it never ended well. Y/N rose up the ranks when she ran off to learn how to hunt after she graduated high school. She was easily in the top ten, and was the next hunter to investigate this place, but she was no exception to the fate the other hunters faced. 

The demons that ran the institution were after vessels. The crazier the person, the easier it would be to take control. Nobody usually came back for these people and even if they did, nobody would believe them if they said anything about being possessed. Even better if they went insane and killed someone, well it couldn’t be traced back to the demons. It was a perfect plan, until hunters started snooping around. That’s when the experiments started and the fun really began. Demons started wanting hunter vessels. They were in the best shape, had connections, and other hunters would just assume they were dead if they went missing. 

Unfortunately, hunters were fighters, that meant they would try to free themselves and kill whoever possessed them. The demons had to make sure they couldn’t fight back and forget what made them a hunter. An empty vessel was the best vessel when it came to them. The witches were lured in to help make sure that happened. Take away their memory, their origin story, the very things that make them who they are, and a hunter’s body was just that, another useless body ready for possession.

***

The witch came in with the information on the most recent patient for their memory loss procedure.

“This one was a special one. Her whole life involved hunters, imagine the all the contacts she has, but she’s basically a clean slate now. Even better, she knew the Winchesters. Hasn’t seen them for over 20 years, so no chance they’ll be coming for her.”

“Did you erase the Winchesters from her memories?” the demon spoke looking over Y/N’s unconscious body.

“Yes. It was difficult, but all her memories of either of them are gone. The memories I couldn’t get rid of without ruining your plans are hidden behind a ‘wall’ of sorts inside her mind, as are the memories of the torture she endured upon arrival.”

“Perfect.”

Y/N’s body stirred as she opened her eyes, staring at the people in front of her.

“Hello, Y/N. You've made so much progress, I think you’ll be ready to leave in a couple days.”

***

The sound of a phone ringing echoed in the bunker. Sam and Dean split up searching for the phone. After the boys returned to the library with a phone in their hand, they realized it was not one, but two phone’s alternating calls from the same number. The brothers grew concerned. One phone belonged to John and the other Bobby, but who would be calling them? Every hunter knew they were both dead by now. They had no choice but to wait for one of the phones to start ringing again. Once they heard a phone go off again, Sam answered, grabbing the phone first.

“Hello? No, this is Sam. Sam Winchester. I'm sorry, but Bobby isn't around anymore. What? No, my brother and I can help.” 

Dean waited as Sam finished up the call.

“So get this, that was Mr. Y/L/N, Y/N’s father. Apparently, she's a hunter and she's been missing for over four years.”

Dean felt a pain in his chest, a pain that he only felt when Sam was in danger or dying. It has been so long since he has even heard Y/N's name. Now that he finally hears something about her and it’s that she's missing, he never should’ve left her all those years ago. He was forced away from her, eventually believing that he was doing the right thing. Y/N was supposed to have the apple pie life with a husband and maybe a kid. She was never supposed to be a hunter, at least not without him. If he would’ve known, he never would have kept his distance from her. He would’ve done whatever it took to find her again and keep her safe.  
Sam opened up his laptop and began typing. 

“He's been calling hunters for help, nobody wants to help since so many people have disappeared. These are high level hunters going missing, Dean. I think we're his last hope.”

“What was Y/N doing anyway?”

“He said she's a pretty high-profile hunter now. She was investigating this place after a hunter she knew went missing. She went radio silent and suddenly called her dad last week telling him not to worry. They were almost done fixing her. Here it is: Silent Lake Psychiatric Institution.”

Sam hacked into the database and pulled up the files on the patients. 

“Dean, there are hunters that we thought died in here.“

“What?” Dean got out of his chair and looked over Sam's shoulder towards the laptop. 

“Hunters we thought were killed by the Men of Letters, Leviathans. Their profiles are all on here.”

“See if you can pull up Y/N's file.” 

“Here, she was admitted for ‘the belief of supernatural entities and violent tendencies.’”

Dean looked at the picture of Y/N's face. She was still so beautiful. After all these years his heart still beat faster when he saw her. He stared into the Y/E/C eyes of the picture not hearing Sam. 

“Dean!”

“What?”

“I said she's getting released tomorrow.”

“That's good right?”

“Not for her, from what I can tell, the better the hunter that gets released, the sooner they end up dead. If we want to keep her alive, we have to find a way to pick her up without anybody recognizing us and bring her somewhere safe.”

“Okay, we’ll bring her here. It's not like she won't be safe. We’ll find out what's going on and shut this place down.”

“There's just one problem. If whoever's doing this is after hunters, they’ll recognize us.”

“So? We just send someone they won't recognize. All they have to do is get her here.”

He always hoped to find Y/N again, but never like this. He thought he would see her in town somewhere and she would introduce him to her husband and kids. He didn’t know anything about her hunter life except that she was in danger and now that he found her, he wasn’t going to let anything happen to her again.

***

Y/N sat on the bed in her assigned room. She stared at the flower in her hand gently touching the petals. The doctor entered her room.

“Ms. Y/L/N, are you excited to go home?” The doctor spoke to her.

Looking up she saw a red-haired woman holding out her arm. This wasn’t her usual doctor. Getting up from the bed, flower still in hand, she linked it with hers as they walked out of the room. 

“Your mother has come to pick you up and take you home.” the doctor continued when Y/N didn’t respond.  
Mother? Y/N couldn't remember if she had a mother, did she even have parents anymore? Walking to the entrance of the building she saw a woman with short blonde hair. Walking outside the building, Y/N wondered who this woman leading her to a car could be. She seemed nice enough. There were no similarities, but maybe she really was her mother. Y/N went back to playing with the petals on her flower. She was going home. She just wished she could remember where she called home.

***

Dean was anxious. He was finally going to see Y/N again. Sam was telling Jack not to use his powers in front of her. Whatever they were doing to these hunters, magic and the supernatural would be the enemy. Dean already talked to Cas about it, now they just had to wait for Mary and Charlie to bring her to the bunker. Charlie came back first filling them in on what happened at the institute.

“When we got there, a demon was waiting to pick her up. I have no idea what they wanted with her, but there’s no doubt they were going to kill her when they were done. I don’t think she was meant to leave that building alive so, someone will still be after her when they find out she’s missing.”

Dean was seeing red. A demon was waiting for her, possibly ready to kill her. He could've lost Y/N before he even found her again.

“They won't find out. We’ll kill them if they do.” Dean said sharply.

“Mary should be here with her soon. I saw them stop to pick up some clothes for her on the way here, but I need to head out.” Charlie responded, ignoring the tone in Dean’s voice.

“Thanks, Charlie.”

It felt like an eternity to Dean, but Mary finally came back to the bunker. Heading down the stairs, she saw Sam come into the room and Dean rush over looking for Y/N. 

“Where is she?” Dean couldn't see her and started to panic. 

“She's in the car, but,”-- Dean tried to rush past her to the garage, Mary stopping him to look at her boys,-- “but I don’t think she's going to remember either of you. Whatever they did to her, it's pretty bad. She hardly remembers anything about herself, so let's try not to make whatever happened to her worse than it already is. She hasn’t said much, barely anything at all, so try not to push her or ask to many questions.”

Mary took off to get Y/N from the garage.

“We should make sure Jack and Cas know she doesn't remember us, if they say anything it might make her condition worse.” Sam said to Dean.

Dean was going to respond, but he saw Y/N walking down the stairs with Mary. She was still in the clothes from the Silent Lake. A white shirt and blue pants. Looking at her, her wanted to fall on his knees. Mary spoke and all he wanted was to hear her answer, just to hear the sound of her voice again. He wanted to hear how it changed over the years.

“Y/N, this is Sam and Dean Campbell. They’re my sons.”

Sam has a smile on his face as he waved to her. Dean could only stare. Y/N smiled and waved back to him as she looked around the map room inside the bunker.   
“They’re here to help, I have to leave but they'll take good care of you. I'll get your things before I go and Sam will show you to your room, okay?” Mary said using the same voice she used on the boys when they were younger.

Y/N nodded and followed Sam to find her room. 

***

Y/N was sitting on the bed of her new room, humming a song that’s been stuck in her head. She couldn't remember the words or the name, but she knew the melody. She was staring at everything. It was empty except for the few belongings she had now taking up space in the room. She was so distracted she didn't see the young boy pass by her room and stop in front of her door to look at her. 

“Hello, I’m Jack. You must be Y/N. Sam told me you were coming to stay with us.”

“Hello, Jack.” Y/N smiled at him. He walked over to her bed and sat at the end smiling at her. 

“You don't talk very much do you?” Jack wondered.

“There really wasn't anyone to talk to where I was, except the nurses and doctor. They weren't much for conversation though.”

“Oh, well, I'd like to talk with you. If you don’t mind.”  
“That would be very nice, Jack.”

Y/N talked with Jack for what felt like hours. There were things that Jack would ask that Y/N couldn't remember and the more she didn't know the more she questioned why. 

“Where did you get that ring from?” Jack pointed to the ring on your left hand. Y/N smiled as she took the ring off and stared at it.

“A boy that I was in love with gave it to me when I was seventeen. Well he was going too, but his dad took him away before he could. I found it the night he left.” 

“Why did he leave?” Jack was curious. This was the most Y/N remember about her past and he wanted to know more.

“I used to think it was to go stop monsters, but they're not real. The doctors and nurses made me realize that.” Y/N scrunched up her face.

“What's wrong?” 

“I can't remember what he looks like anymore. I know that I loved him, and do still, but I can't remember his face, if he was tall, short, what color his eyes were. Something doesn't feel right.” 

“Do you remember his name?”

“No. I should remember that shouldn’t I?” Y/N frowned.

“I'm actually getting hungry, Jack. Is there anything to eat?”

“I'll go check.”

***

Jack wanted to find Sam and Dean. Y/N knew there was something wrong, which means maybe they could help her. He found the brothers in the library doing research on the place they brought Y/N from. Sam looked up from his laptop when he entered. 

“Hey, Jack. Haven't seen you since Y/N got here.”

“I've been talking with her.” 

Dean's head snapped up at that. 

“Is she okay?” Dean couldn’t find his voice when Y/N was around. He had to know what she needed, what they talked about, any information at all that Jack could give.

“She's hungry, but there's something you should know.”

The brothers looked at each other and back to Jack. 

“There's a lot of things she can't remember, but she’s starting to realize somethings wrong. Do you think they could've erased or altered part of her memories somehow?”

“It's possible. How about you take her some food, see what else you can find out and we’ll look into it okay?” Sam told Jack.

“Okay!” Jack smiled as he headed to the kitchen. Dean wished he was the one talking to her, but he needed to find a way to keep her safe. He was dying to be with her right now. Lost in his own thoughts he didn't hear Sam, again. 

“Dean! Did you hear anything I said?”

“Of course I did, but just say it again so I can make sure I heard you right.”

Sam rolled his eyes knowing his brother wasn't listening. He couldn't blame him though. The girl he's been in love with his entire life was in the same place as he was, but he couldn't be with her. 

“The machine we used to go into mom's mind and yours, what if we use that again? Cas' was able to go with me when we used it on you. The two of you can go in and find out what happened, maybe get her back to normal.” Sam re-explained.

It was a start. The sooner they could find out what was wrong, the sooner they could get Y/N’s memories back.

***

Y/N sat in the chair next to Jack, while Sam and Dean put wires on her head. 

“Don't worry Y/N.” Jack spoke to her.

Jack placed his hand over Y/N's to calm her, earning a glare from Dean. He couldn't help but be jealous at all the time they were spending together. Once this was over, he was making up for all the time he lost with her.   
After Y/N was hooked up, Cas and Dean were ready to enter her mind. Dean would never say it out loud but he was scared at what he would find. 

***

Black. That’s all they saw. 

“Whoever did this made sure Y/N’s memories were hidden away.” Cas spoke into the darkness.

“So, what do we do?” Dean asked.

“We try to find a crack in the wall, so to speak. There’s got to be a memory she’s kept that can help us. Once we find it, we can try to break it down and find out what happened.”

They listened to the memories she still had and tried to find the perfect one. He heard the sound of her humming a song. The same song she had been humming in the bunker.

“That one!” Dean shouted.

It was the night Dean had left her. She came back and found the ring he dropped, the ring she still wore on her finger. He knew it looked familiar, but he didn’t want to hope. That’s when the song she was humming was finally accompanied by lyrics.

I've never loved another  
As I've loved you and do still  
But I wonder when they're through with me  
I wonder if I will

“You found it,” Cas spoke as the memories started to shift. 

They were watching Y/N become a hunter. Everything she went through and learned. All while playing with the ring on her hand. It was a selfish thought, but Dean noticed the lack of men in her life. There were a couple of guys, although it’s not like Dean was celibate the entire time they were apart.

So remember things I've said to you  
And say them back to me  
And maybe you can rescue me from lunacy  
And let million men in their bright white jackets  
Try to erase you from my mind  
But when they bring me back to you  
And tell you that I'm shiny new  
The girl that you see  
May not be me behind theses eyes anymore

After following the lyrics and hopping around her memories, they found the one they needed. Y/N was looking into the institution. Dean knew he was going to find out what happened and he had to be ready for anything.

Oh, they're making me  
They're making me  
Take these awful pills  
Assuring me they're curing me  
Of all my evil ills

Witches were involved. Dean hated witches, but he wasn’t expecting to see them work with the demons that were in the room with Y/N. The witch was casting a spell onto the pills that she carried over to the demon. Y/N was tied up on a hospital bed.

“You better hope I never get out of this!” 

“Why are you lashing out Ms. Y/L/N?”

“You know exactly why you black eyed bitch!”

The witch placed a pill in her mouth, Y/N bit her and spit the pill out. She shoved more into her mouth and placed her hand over Y/N’s mouth trying to force her to swallow the pills. The demon kept alternating between flashing his black eyes and keeping them normal as he talked to her.

“These delusions aren’t good for you, Y/N. There’s no such thing as monsters and demons. Once you accept that, then we can start working to get you better.”  
With those words the witch and demon would repeat the process, only taking a break or trying to heal Y/N when she was close to an overdose.

They say they're saving me  
They're saving me  
So they'll have me think  
I was fine before they got to me  
But now I'm on the brink  
Of utter madness

They were torturing her physically now. Cutting, stabbing and burning her. He couldn’t stand watching the torture they put you through. Once again, the demon was flashing his black eyes trying to convince Y/N that she was insane.

“You need to stop attacking us, Y/N. Nobody’s hurting you.” The demon sliced her arm causing Y/N to scream. “This torture is in your mind.”

“You better hope I never remember any of this!”

“Any of what, Y/N? Nothing is happening. Please stop struggling.” The demon sliced her cheek. “You’re only hurting yourself.”

They've called the doctors  
Today's the day  
I've lost it finally  
And they're putting me away

Y/N stopped fighting them, believing the lies they fed her about being insane. Slowly, the torture stopped. She would just stare at them, an empty shell of what she used to be. The demon stopped flashing his eyes and the witch stopped using magic to reinforce the idea that Y/N was only imagining everything. They placed her in a room and let her interact with the other patients. 

“One more treatment and you’ll be ready to go!”

They tried to steal my thoughts  
And all my memories of you  
But I clung tight to them  
Because I always knew

The last treatment was getting rid of her hunting memories, or at least trying to lock them up. While Y/N was watching the witch cast the spell, she started to think of everything she wanted to remember. Holding on tight, her memories started to blur and fade away from her mind except the ones that Dean and Sam were in. Those memories held strong, but eventually they were only blurs. Y/N clung tight to the memories she had, accepting that they were going to be blurred in her mind forever. Forgetting names and faces, she could never forget the events and feelings those memories came with.

That a million men in their bright white jackets  
Could never erase you from my mind  
But when they bring me back to you  
And tell you that I'm shiny new  
The girl that you see may not be me

Dean was ready to leave when a memory of her entering the bunker for the first time caught his attention. Thoughts from the memory started playing as he watched.

‘Dean Campbell. Dean. Dean. I know a Dean. Don’t I? I’m in love with Dean, a Dean, I think. Why can’t I remember?’

Dean realized he might have scared her off when they first met with the way he was staring at her. No wonder she preferred Jack and Sam's company. He never even said a word directly to her since she arrived. Great. 

‘Why is he staring at me? His eyes are so green, I haven’t seen eyes like that since . . . I can’t remember, but I know I’ve seen eyes like that before.’

That was it. The crack in the wall. What he could use to bulldoze the entire thing down and get Y/N to remember. It was him.


End file.
